RAQs
Rarely Asked Questions
Here's what no one asks, but probably should.
RAQs
How should I know if you're a good fit for me?
Schedule a Strategy Session. This is a 45-min coaching session offered at half my usual rate so you can learn more about what coaching is, explore a problem or challenge of real importance to you, and walk away with awareness, intention, and a meaningful measure of progress (your AIM).
When can I expect to see results?
If you come into coaching ready to engage with honesty and a genuine desire to make some changes, you will experience transformation from day 1. Often, simply finding someone who will listen to you without judgment and allow you to hear yourself think is a radical step toward a new you! A good coach will offer you empathy and challenge your thinking because thinking and feeling are bidirectional.
Who is not a good fit for your coaching practice?
In my experience, people who tend to have an external attribution style (blaming situations or other people) may be less apt to embrace the radically honest internal dialogue that coaching demands. We all do things for a reason. We tend to repeat patterns of behavior - even if we claim to be desperate for an exit strategy - because there is some upside. How open are you to challenging your thinking? What if I asked you what benefits are associated with the status quo? Would you be curious about exploring that in the interest of change?
How is coaching different from therapy?
Therapy explores patterns of thinking, emotions, and behaviors in your past, helping you understand how you arrived at where you are today. Coaching, on the other hand, is a forward-looking, solution-focused partnership aimed at achieving specific goals. Many effective therapists integrate coaching techniques into their work, because self-discovery and agency are key to catalyzing meaningful change.
Training for the Soul
We are not just heads attached to bodies, parts that need fixing. We are an interconnected, expressive whole. This section attempts to weave together science, philosophy, theology, and practical application to operationalize what we do in a coaching engagement. You don't need to have a desire to grow spiritually or share my faith orientation to benefit from coaching but in my own personal experience, I believe you will benefit immeasurably (and eternally) from considering your spiritual growth as part of our work.
What is the connection between science and soul?
Science is the practice of measuring and analyzing, while the soul engages in discerning meaning and purpose. In some ways, the simple dichotomy of the analytical left brain versus the contextual right brain can explain the bidirectional connection between science and soul. As Iain McGilchrist writes, the left hemisphere is the Emissary while the right hemisphere is the Master. The Emissary focuses on carrying out tasks and attending to details. The Master, on the other hand, sees the whole picture and contextualizes our experiences; it is empathic and interconnected. These two ways of understanding have distinct roles, but they are interdependent.
Science is the practice of measuring and analyzing, while the soul engages in discerning meaning and purpose. In some ways, the simple dichotomy of the analytical left brain versus the contextual right brain can explain the bidirectional connection between science and soul. As Iain McGilchrist writes, the left hemisphere is the Emissary while the right hemisphere is the Master. The Emissary focuses on carrying out tasks and attending to details. The Master, on the other hand, sees the whole picture and contextualizes our experiences; it is empathic and interconnected. These two ways of understanding have distinct roles, but they are interdependent.
I see science and soul as distinct but inextricably linked. Science offers me a range of tools, while my soul orients me toward my purpose in life. Each of us has a purpose here on Earth. Discerning that purpose is a lifelong pursuit. I believe that our purpose can be one simple, overarching goal. For me personally, that purpose is to share the love of Christ with others. I carry that purpose out through various missions in life—such as being a scientist, a mother, a friend, a daughter, and a coach. Each morning I wake up and try to be open to whatever my mission might be that day.
The secular world can provide portals to spiritual growth. Aristotle's work on eudaimonia connects true fulfillment to hard work and a focus on others. Modern neuroscience underscores the idea that moving toward a meaningful goal and cultivating social connections feels rewarding; this is why video games can be so addictive and why relationships help shift us out of depression. Thomas Aquinas extends this train of thought through his work on virtues.* The Thomistic lens shows that developing virtue is not only beneficial for human flourishing, but essential for spiritual growth and true fulfillment through an ordered life oriented toward sharing God's love with others.
*See this excellent article for a terrific graphic showing the interplays briefly described here.
Are we really mind, body, and spirit? Who came up with that?
Well, this question came up the other night. The notion is ancient. Philosophers like Aristotle grappled with meaning in life, asking questions like “What is the definition of happiness?” He came up with hedonia (pleasure) and eudaimonia (fulfillment). Do animals wrestle with these distinctions? Although I have deep connections with animals, they do not reason through fine distinctions like this. I may be a simpleton, but I think it is self-evident that we are mind, body, and spirit.
Well, this question came up the other night. The notion is ancient. Philosophers like Aristotle grappled with meaning in life, asking questions like “What is the definition of happiness?” He came up with hedonia (pleasure) and eudaimonia (fulfillment). Do animals wrestle with these distinctions? Although I have deep connections with animals, they do not reason through fine distinctions like this. I may be a simpleton, but I think it is self-evident that we are mind, body, and spirit.
Pope John Paul II gave 129 Wednesday audiences during his papacy, which are collectively known as the Theology of the Body. He rejected any division between spirit and body, and believed that the body outwardly expresses the spiritual self of the person: “The body, and it alone, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine.”
As we grow in self-awareness and consciousness through intentional work on our interior lives, we may become more open to the voice of the Holy Spirit—one person in the three-person Trinity of God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), whose role is to teach us about the love of the Father and His gift of His own Son, Jesus Christ, who redeemed us from eternal death (John 3:16).
You may want to work on improved communication—but to what end? Moving to a higher level of energy is not an end in itself. The purpose of moving from despair, judgment, grudges, and conflict to synthesis, discernment, wisdom, and reconciliation is ultimately creative. We can create more cooperative teams, more joyful families, and more fruitful personal and professional endeavors.
If you're experiencing stress and frustration in your relationships, this is normal. The family unit is where we work out the fruits of our salvation through the virtues of faith, hope and charity. As we work through these challenges, with God's grace, we gain a better appreciation of God's love for us and His eternal mercy. Don't be ashamed of strife, but lean on His grace to work through it and help guide your whole family to holiness.
What inspired your business name?
I was doing a rosary ruck (walking wearing a backpack filled with sand while meditating on the rosary) and was meditating on the word Assumption, one of the glorious mysteries. Mary was "assumed" into Heaven wholly and immediately due to her immaculate nature, but she also assumed - from the very moment Gabriel came to visit her with a message (not a question or request) - that God would guide and support her. Her only question was "How is this possible?" not whether she would serve. She assumed His intent and His protection. She could have had no way of understanding how everything would work out at the time. In fact, it would have been very awkward and even shameful for her because she was pregnant before she got married. She could never have known that Christ would rise again in three days when she grieved at the cross. The sheer number of moments in every day that Mary must have wondered how it would all work out is beyond my comprehension. To get through these difficult times, she must have assumed that God is good and His plan would be carried out. She surrendered her whole self into that assumption to carry her during her days on earth.
When I finished my meditation I continued thinking about that word "assume" and how it could help me with my frequent bouts of doubt and worry. I also crave guidance about how best to serve God with my whole being, in a way that honors Him and feels like I'm able to exercise each of my gifts without being self-conscious of how disparate they seem. I'm craving some integration in my professional life, and to that end I've been working on how to bring both my scientific and coaching practices under one umbrella. The unifying discipline is simple: it starts with asking questions. From that data we can describe the current terrain and set a direction for where we want to head.
What if I assumed that God could help me with this silly yet very practical challenge of buying a URL, too? As I walked home, the rosary in my right hand and the meditations in my left, I was looking up into the overcast sky as the sunlight refracted its way through and asked God to help me name my work in a way that reflects all that I am. In the same way as Mary devoted herself to serving God as His handmaid, I want to serve God with all my being, in all the ways that He created me. I also wanted to put the focus on the other person, not me. A simple prayer formed in my mind.
"I'm really going to need something to call this work, which is oriented on serving you and bringing your light into the world."
The word "train" came to mind and I immediately paired that with a word I already used in both professional practices ("aim") and then focused on the other person, as if they were talking about themselves. What came to mind is "train my aim." Train has a dual meaning as well. It is a constant practice - a discipline - but it is also directional when we use it to describe focusing on a target. It seemed perfect. Was it available?
Yes!
This is the story of how Divine inspiration helped me in a very practical way.
When I finished my meditation I continued thinking about that word "assume" and how it could help me with my frequent bouts of doubt and worry. I also crave guidance about how best to serve God with my whole being, in a way that honors Him and feels like I'm able to exercise each of my gifts without being self-conscious of how disparate they seem. I'm craving some integration in my professional life, and to that end I've been working on how to bring both my scientific and coaching practices under one umbrella. The unifying discipline is simple: it starts with asking questions. From that data we can describe the current terrain and set a direction for where we want to head.
What if I assumed that God could help me with this silly yet very practical challenge of buying a URL, too? As I walked home, the rosary in my right hand and the meditations in my left, I was looking up into the overcast sky as the sunlight refracted its way through and asked God to help me name my work in a way that reflects all that I am. In the same way as Mary devoted herself to serving God as His handmaid, I want to serve God with all my being, in all the ways that He created me. I also wanted to put the focus on the other person, not me. A simple prayer formed in my mind.
"I'm really going to need something to call this work, which is oriented on serving you and bringing your light into the world."
The word "train" came to mind and I immediately paired that with a word I already used in both professional practices ("aim") and then focused on the other person, as if they were talking about themselves. What came to mind is "train my aim." Train has a dual meaning as well. It is a constant practice - a discipline - but it is also directional when we use it to describe focusing on a target. It seemed perfect. Was it available?
Yes!
This is the story of how Divine inspiration helped me in a very practical way.